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The Culture that is UV: The Job Ad Reveals The Company

Guessing is hard but essential. And one way we hazard guesses about big things is by looking at the little things. We guess how generous someone is by how he tips. We guess how much of a [insert a dysphemism for a not-nice-person here] by how he treats those below him in the perceived hierarchy of the universe in his mind. And so forth.

So you — yes, you, awesome guy-or-girl who wants a job that is much awesome-r than the job you currently have because, your job has been disappointing you, even of late, hasn’t it? — need to guess, what kind of a work environment is United Virtualities?

You can read sites like Glassdoor — but these sorts of networks tend to bring out the extremists on all sides. So it’s not representative. Or, alternatively, you can stalk someone who works there on social media, but that’s a bit creepy, so you’d never do that, right? Right? RIGHT?! (I, of course, NEVER would, I promise! It’s creepy, didn’t we just agree to that?)

Here’s a way I’d suggest you can evaluate what a work environment is like: what do their job ads look like?

Just compare these three companies. The first one is purely hypothetical and begins their job ad, “Senior Software Developer In Bay Area” — you read that and those three words are full of information, precisely what they don’t say: you don’t specify the language you’d be developing in? That’s the most basic requirement, so you’re forcing me to click even though there’s a 95% chance I don’t even know the language being mentioned? That’s likely an environment in which the team isn’t thinking about the human element — neither the potential employee’s, nor the employee’s alike. Shouldn’t HR be when you put your BEST foot forward?

Now, compare that to this second, also hypothetical company, whose job ad is titled, “We Need a Marketing Superstar!” Okay, let’s deconstruct that. Here’s the problem with this very-common type of ad: every company in the universe wants “superstars.” And in a universe when everyone is a superstar, Virginia, no one is a superstar. So, it sounds fake. Plus, at least in my experience, 29 out of 30 companies who claim they want superstars only want to pay salaries that don’t look like a small fraction of what the real superstars are actually making. Make that 299 out of 300.

Compare that to a third, but non-hypothetical, company, called United Virtualities, with offices in New York, Buenos Aires, Guadalajara, and Barcelona. United Virtualities puts the “hum” in “human” because we’re humming away like bees working, we hum, singing to ourselves when we work, and “hum” reminds us of “humor” which is important to keep in mind when you’re focused on hard, intense, challenging work. Here’s what our job ads look like. This is an ad we just took out. Read it, and the culture of the company will shine through–even if you’re not on-target for this job, you may very well be an awesome software developer who wants to work on a company with this culture:

Awesome Company Seeks Frog To Turn Into Marketing Prince

We’re a New York and Buenos Aires-based tech consultancy and we’re growing rapidly and guess what? That’s not enough: we are focused on growing even more. And what is our secret plan to get every potential client who wants to fall in love with us, but just doesn’t know it yet?

Well, it’s a secret plan so we can’t tell you just yet! But our lead growth hacker (who hates the term “growth hacker”), an American right out of Silicon Valley, needs a “Right Hand Person” to build up excitement about UV together… and to figure out how to turn that excitement into, well, clients.

And that “Right Hand Person” may just be you! Sound interesting? Here are the sort of things you will be doing together:

  • Learning how to make growth happen
  • Learning how to measure & track growth
  • Learning how to write much better than you do
  • Learning how to make landing pages
  • Learning how to organize teams
  • Learning how to focus, focus, focus until you’ve achieved your goal.

Does this sound like a fun challenge to you? Maybe you’re a good fit for us. Or maybe you’re not. Here’s the sort of person we’re looking for:

  • You must be a hard worker. This comes first and foremost, because if you work hard, then all other problems can be solved.
  • You must be smart, although if you tell us you’re too smart, we may think the Dunning-Kruger effect may apply to you. You’re going to need to figure stuff out on your own, and that requires some chops.
  • You must be excited about this project and this team. Of course you can’t be excited about the team until you meet us in person!
  • You must enjoy writing, because there’s a lot of writing in all directions involved. Not just external writing, but writing as a way of thinking through and solving problems, as well. You don’t need to be a great writer–we’re not expecting you to be the next Cervantes–but you must enjoy it and be ready for it.
  • You must speak and write English fluently or near fluently.

In fact, these are really the only requirements. If you satisfy these five — then everything else is a technicality. You don’t have a particular skill we need? No worries, we’ll teach you. And since you’re smart, you’ll be able to figure it out anyway.

Is this not like any job description you’ve read before? That’s okay. This job probably isn’t like any job you’ve had before, either.

If you think you’re a nail-on-the-head for all five of these requirements, then stop reading this and drop us a line right now. What are you waiting for?

PS — if you want to know the sort of work environment this is: we’ve spent the last 10 minutes debating the word “awesome” in the headline we’re writing now to find if it’s the right word. That’s how obsessive we are, and how we expect you to be. Other finalist contenders included “neat,” “groovy,” “nifty” and “swell” — but we ended up deciding that we would have used one of those adjectives had we been in the USA but we think that in Argentina, not enough people would be so intimately familiar with the mostly-forgotten American slang of our parents’ and grandparents’ eras. That’s peachy keen, man!

Like it? Looking for a job? If you’re an aspiring marketer–drop us a line. Or a software developer. Or you can read more at our careers page. Hint, hint, hint

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